(Trigger Warning: Suicide) It’s a lovely morning in Bangalore. I grab a cup of coffee and climb the stairs to reach the terrace. My eyes are focused on the sky. The sky is perfect blue with gray clouds trying to cover it but blown away by strong winds. While I am enjoying this game of hide and seek, I see another woman, beside me, near … Continue reading A conversation with my younger self
Dear voice in my head Ever since I learned languages, I taught you how to put forward your opinions and take a stand. When I was a kid, I reflected you like a mirror. People used to laugh at you but adore me. When I grew up, my parents and teachers conspired against you and convinced me somehow to listen to you selectively. I confess … Continue reading Dear Voice in My Head
If my mind can be a place, it is a maze Some parts are deep stinking ditches While some are fragrant bright gardens Some are as dangerous as a cliff edge While some are as benevolent as a rose bed Some are roller coaster rides to old memoirs While some are winding roads to a new adventure If my mind can be a person, … Continue reading My mind is a kaleidoscope
Every sprout is a promise to the seed Every invention is a tribute to the need Every intention welcomes a new deed Every incarnation is the birth of a creed When everything new bids farewell to old Each new day hands me memories to hold Every literature gives me thoughts to mold Every tragedy leaves me bewildered and cold Now that I know each chilly … Continue reading A Ray Of Hope For The Tired Soul
A very old poem I wrote when I was suffering from clinical depression and couldn’t see any hope ahead. They say life is not a bed of roses You say everyone goes through one But tell me, dear, for once Do you know what it is really like? To witness life as a car crash Hear everything you held close Breaking like glass, … Continue reading Death
They say everyone has a demon to fight, I have met mine. It sits between my heart and throat, I fear if it wakes up, It won’t let me move. I fear, either it would pierce my heart open or project my inner darkness on the world. Sometimes I fight, often I lose; I sit silently for hours until it goes. I threaten I would … Continue reading The Demon Inside Me
How the survival skills I learned trying to combat depression is helping me survive lockdown Continue reading Mental Health during Lockdown: Lessons I learned from my tryst with depression
This would be a long article but I promise I won’t bore you with redundant information. Before I make my point, here’s two bitter sweet stories of loneliness and how talking to random strangers helped. Two Stories The first story dates back to 2010. I was a fresh graduate, severely hit by recession, trying to find a job. I was a good student with decent … Continue reading Loneliness & Mental Health: Talk to Strangers. It’s Therapeutic!
Hey you there! Just hold on. I feel you. I really do. I was there too- on the terrace edge, holding a sharp knife, staring at sleeping pills, thinking of fast moving trucks. It was such a relief to realize that all the pain and suffering would get over but guess what, I would not have been there to witness it. This is a very … Continue reading Yes, I’ve Been There Too: My Message To Those Dealing With Thoughts Of Suicide
Six months back, I was trying to write a novel, about depression. The irony was that I wanted to end it on a happy note. I was even invited to share my fantastic idea with a hall full of strangers. As I entered, I saw the spotlight on the stage and imagined hundreds of faces looking at me. The next moment, I was in washroom, … Continue reading Is recovery a real thing?